The Top 5 Things the Conficker Worm Will Do On April 1

5. Empty all of the AIG executives' bank accounts

4. Switch all the pages of The Huffington Post with pages of The Onion (but no one will notice)

3. Start Twittering all of President Obama's private BlackBerry messages

2. Send a post to all of your Facebook friends telling them that you've been secretly in love with them for years

1. Delete every blog on the Web so that people will have to buy a newspaper

--J-Q.com

NB: The Conficker worm is serious--so we really shouldn't make fun. It is significant for the number of computers infected (up to 12 million), its level of sophistication (which includes its own hidden peer-to-peer network), and for the fact that its perhaps the first major worldwide virus created by professional criminals (marking the dawn of a new era).